Sunday , October 26 , 2003
I have written this text about eight times in my head. Each time it tends to begin with the determination, "I will not whine and complain my way out of this mess."
I finally made a master list of everything that has to get done, and when it has to be done by. It sucks. It's huge, and a whole lot of it is due all in the same week. Five papers, three tests, a lot of other stuff, and all this does NOT include either the work for my Creative Writing class (the only class in my major that I am taking this semester) OR the work needed for Silicon Cherry.
Once again, I have set myself up for a fall by not thinking ahead enough. I figured I could make things work. Talking with my professor and with friends about what has and what will happen in SC has convinced me that even this time, I have not planned ahead properly, and considered all the possible implications of what I am writing.
There is a ninty-eight percent chance that something will have to be re-written, and a ninty-seven percent chance that that something will require what's already been shown to be redone. I am not exactly... looking forwards to that prospect.
The more I engage in Real Life, the more I find it to be distateful and not to my likings. ^_^!!!! But the more I disassociate from it, the more I realize that this is a bad thing, especially in terms of learning to write. I need real life experience in order to write well. On the other hand, I am entirely unconvinced that what I'm getting right now (referencing the papers and crappity-crap-crap they want out of me) IS the necessary real life I need.
I have a goal, and I'm not there. There are a thousand and a half obstacles in the way. I'm doing my best, but I will fall down from time to time, or maybe even spend a relatively unhappily long amount of time on the ground.
I don't mean this to say 'I'm taking a break, come back later.' I want to continue working on this. Unfortuntely, I cannot at this time give anything resembling an accurate status report. I have not fled the scene, nor do I intend to flee or even walk away. I am here, and I want to stay. It all just somewhat depends... on who stays with me...
Please check back next Sunday, as if nothing had happened ^_^. Perhaps by then I will be able to say with more accuracy what the future looks like.
Either that or I'll be a raving mess, crying for someone to do my papers for me. ^_^ I never know.
Thank you, you who remain, for your remaining patience. If it were easy, I'm not sure it would be worth it. Thanks.
Don't click 'Week'.
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